The way it was.....

As it stands right now, it would be....
"The way it is..."

My life that is. I know that someday my present memories, present routines and present stress will be a faded afterthought, one that I will probably not remember correctly, if at all. There's so much that happens on a daily basis here and sometimes I'm so worried about the past, and more so the future that I don't really live in the present. Like, I spent nearly all day preparing for this week since it's my first week back to work full time. I did like 8 loads of laundry (ok, Brent did them, but he NEVER folds anything, just leaves it in the basket where I have to wonder what's clean and what's dirty)...k, so laundry, then had to gather Gabe's nap stuff, Kennedy's bottles (which by the way took me ALL weekend to pump enough for ONE DAY!! BAH!!!), Kennedy's extra baby wipes (how can she be out already after only going to school for 5 days?), My pump, my lunch, my water bottle, and like 50 million other things just to get ready for the week ahead. I know myself and once tomorrow hits I won't have time to do anything else since my WHOLE night consists of eating dinner and then putting Kenna to bed. Thankfully Brent has taken over the task of putting Gabe to bed, yeah, we barely see each other anymore.

Today is Brent's birthday. He's 27 today, almost exactly a year younger than I. We didn't do much, we have a newborn baby and a 4 1/2 year old who keep us busy but desperation found us buckled into the front seats of our minivan (yes, minivan, first time I've admitted that on a blog, DAMMIT, I miss my old Grand Am, piece of shit that it was), ok, so we're buckled in and we (are so lame) actually just started driving and went to lunch and the mall *(impromptu). Wow, exciting huh? Then I went to the store with G and K and Kenna starts (predictably) screaming in the store. Of course this happens just as I am putting a cold six pack of bottled beer in the cart to take home to the birthday boy. So, there we are, wheeling around the store with beer and a crying baby in the cart (whom I refuse to unbuckle from her infant seat, seeing as how it was a quick trip and I am too lazy to "rebuckle" her in 5 minutes). So, got some stares, but whatever. And Gabe, so cute, picks up some Big League Chew for Brent (Original Flavor), wow, I bet that was the best present daddy ever received!

I guess I'm having trouble writing because I don't really know who this is aimed at. I think I'm gonna go and just keep up with my random thoughts, I think I may have developed adult onset ADD, if there is such a thing. I used to love writing, now I have thoughts that dart back and forth so fast that it doesn't flow and it bothers me. In my old writing I would have an opening paragraph, bunch a shit in the middle and then tie it all together nicely at the end, leaving the reader feeling satisfied, similar to how you feel after a big meal. Presently my writing is choppy, all over the place and mostly uninteresting, much like you feel after raiding your cupboards, eating like 5 different things and STILL not feeling satisfied. Yeah, that's me now....