Let's try this again...

So, yes there was actually a tornado last time I was writing and I had to log off. Let's finish my 100 tonight....

58. Did I mention I'm a packaging freak? I love getting new soap, shampoo, baby products etc. just so I can read the back labels...I love new packaging and marketing ploys, they get me every time!

59. I am a car seat guru. I HATE when people have their kids incorrectly buckled into their car seats.

60. I love suckers but can't manage to actually suck them, I bite them within 5 seconds flat, every time....hate that.

61. I once buckled a child I was babysitting into a car seat and LEFT THE HOUSE!! WTF?? I was twelve, go figure. Which is exactly why NO ONE UNDER 21 will ever babysit our children. Again, WTF??

62. I am very ticklish.

63. I can't snap, I just don't get how to.

64. I am a people pleaser.

65. I am a middle child and I hate conflict.

66. I HATE for my food to touch on my plate, I have each pile all sectioned off as to not touch whatever is next to it. My mother in law jokes that she's going to get me divided plates for Christmas, I wish she's quit joking and actually do it.

67. I am terrified of the dark and I hate when Kenna cries in the middle of the night because she's now across the hall in her own room and I have to walk past a mirror and I'm always afraid there's a burglar in the house.

68. I always do everything in the shower in the same order everyday. Wash hair, wash body, shave, wash face, etc. Every day it's the same exact order. I wonder when I started doing that?

69. Ewww, sick, I just remembered that when I was little (like 8) I HATED taking showers. I would tell my mom I showered and seriously all I would do is go in the bathroom, turn on the water, wet my hair in the sink and leave. Sick, I wonder how often I did that and for how long?

70. Both my babies have dimples on both their cheeks yet Brent and I have none.

71. I love using paypal, it's so easy sometimes I like to buy things online (my latest obsession is hair bows for the princess) just so I can check out with paypal.

72. I want 4 kids, Brent says he only wants two......so looks like someday I may remarry!

73. The only broken bone I've had is my leg, but both bones. I broke it on our trampoline when I was 12.

74. I only like blue pens, I seriously get pissy if I have to use a pencil or a black pen. I REALLY REALLY REALLY hate black pens.

75. My children MUST coordinate outfits when they leave the house. I am willing to not be anal retentive when they're at home but if we go ANYWHERE they cannot look like trash. Gabe's latest love is black dress socks and he loves to wear them with shorts, ummmmmm NO! We fight about it, yeah, those are not ok with shorts or with jeans or anything except a tux for that matter. So yeah, everything is matching even sometimes underwear, bibs and hair bows.

76. When Gabe was a baby his infant car seat did not match the stroller so I NEVER hooked them together because it looked ugly. Kennedy's got a new infant car seat and it matches the stroller and I can't live without the combo.

77. I painted my toes in the car yesterday and it made me sick. I have been getting car sick since I was a kid. I absolutely cannot read in the car or I will feel ill for hours.

78. I don't like pets, I'm not really affectionate when it comes to animals, I get the impression from animal lovers that I could be likened to Charles Manson because I have a distaste for animals and seeing them lick themselves. I don't get what's to love about that.It makes me shutter (shudder?)

79. I LOVE cleaning and organizing. I mean I LOVE IT!! Especially if I'm mad, it seriously makes me borderline hyperventilate if my house is a mess when I leave it.

80. I think I scrub the kids too hard. I sorta cringe when Brent offers to do the kids' baths because although I don't really watch him wash the kids I just think he won't scrub hard enough. I like lots of bubbles (well not too many for Kenna) and lots of warm water. They need to soak, lather them with a really sudsy loofah thingy and rinse really well. Then it's taking care of them to a tee. I hate long nails, dirty ears, teeth, mouth etc

81. I do however admire Brent's grilling skills. I could not and would not go near a grill. The whole idea of me being in charge of a gas tank and flame combination just stresses me out. I seriously think I would blow myself 50 feet into the air with an explosion, it's a scary thing to me.

82.Taco Bell does not make me sick, I have never had food poisoning and I think I have a pretty strong stomach.

83. I can not however EVER EVER drink Jack Daniels anymore (or GoldSchlagger, but that's a different story). I used to drink a lot when I was around 21/22 and nothing bothered me. If I even smell Jack Daniels I get queasy.

84. I don't get text messaging. Probably because I suck at it and it takes forever to write a message. Buuuuuuuuuuutttttttttt, I did get a new phone (a pretty purple one) tonight and it has a slider that reveals a keyboard on it. I just may start texting a whole lot more.

85. I love coloring but only with Crayola crayons. I hate those waxy RoseArt ones.

86. I fed Kennedy organic bananas today while I ate a double cheeseburger from McDonald's. She's JUST started baby cereal and I thought I would try a fruit and thought, hmmm, she needs to eat healthy organic food and then I proceeded to eat some nasty greasy cheeseburger....which she will ingest anyway when I nurse her. Oh well!

87. I have always wanted to take piano lessons and I know I will.....someday.

88. I have issues with my hair, as stated above. I have worn my hair pulled away from my face for over ten years now. I can't stand the feeling when my hair is down, I can only have it down for 3 or so hours, MAX!

89. I love bright blue and teal colors together. And light pink and chocolate brown.

90. I love people watching. I could do it all day.

91. I call Kennedy "mommy girl, baby peanut, peety pin cess, and Kenna girl". I call Gabe "Gabbie, peanut, Eddie Peffercorn, and stew boy (from SNL "Stuart").

92. I do not like sports at all. Brent is a sports nut. When he tells me about plays or trades or whatever I never listen to him. I just say "uh huh" or "Oh?" and act interested even though I have NO idea what he's talking about.

93. I love Brent's sense of humor though. He is sometimes so point on with what I'm thinking. He's ruthless and he makes me laugh.

94. I used to try and act "troubled" at 16. I would actually try and be "deep" with my thoughts and actions. I would stay up all hours of the night watching a candle burn and listen to Candlebox (Far Behind) and write poetry about how complex I was.

95. Speaking of loser I remember wearing stretch pants to my first day of jr. high and I TUCKED THEM IN TO MY BRIGHT ORANGE SLOUCH SOCKS! I was wearing a Georgetown sweatshirt and it matched perfectly. Or so I thought until someone made fun of me and thankfully I got the hint and never wore that outfit again.

96. I love reading magazines and babycenter birth club boards.

97. I only like to wear hoodies and wish I could wear them year round.

98. I don't like too many colors in an outfit or to decorate with, three is the max I feel comfortable with.

99. I usually only wear black & white dress clothes and Michigan State t-shirts. Don't know why, I have a hang up.

100. I try to be the best wife, mother and friend to my spouse and children. I ALWAYS, always put myself last with them. I will go without so they have what they want and need and I'm fine with that. My children are happy, confident and independent but always come back home and get all their love and snuggles from me. Brent too. We are all individuals when we go out and we all do our own thing but at home we are almost always all in the same room just being together. I love that and I love them!!

100...things that make ya go hmmmmm....

Ok, so thanks to Rochelle I HAVE to list 100 randoms....here goes....

1. For starters, I use several periods in emails waaaaay too much, it's me pausing in real life.
2. I want to go back to school, don't have the time now but I am def. going to nursing school.
3. Speaking of "def." I ALWAYS write that because I'm not really sure how to actually spell definitely...see, I think I screwed it up and I'm too lazy to look it up.
4. I do that also with Sat. (Saturday- turd day...is that right?)
5. I'm a freak for grammar/spelling even though I know I make several mistakes with mine.
6. I hate it when people mix up to, too and two! Their and They're. And my ultimate pet peeve is when people say "I SEEN you the other day!" Ugh, seen is only used in past tense!
7. I hate to admit that I do think I am better than some people.
8. I am afraid of heights
9. I'm afraid of choking
10. I HATE camping! What's fun about bugs, no electricity and not showering?
11. I capitalize words to accentuate their meaning, I write exactly (fighting urge to capitalize the word EXACTLY) how I speak.
12. I LOVE (ahhhh, there I go again, I seriously can't help it!) anything strawberry flavored.
13. It catches me off guard when people spell like this: Flavour, Colour etc.
14. Wow, lazy much, my left wrist is ALREADY cramping.
15. I am almost always late. I hate that about myself.
16. Since having another baby I have been early or exactly on time to work 9 times out of ten
17. For the record, I have been back at work exactly ten days and I was late once. By 6 minutes I think so not too bad.
18. I only like even numbers.
19. Both by babies and my husband were born on odd days.
20. My month, day and birth year are all even.
21. I really wanted to name Kennedy, Mackenzie (actually I still do) and I actually called her that at least two or three times in her two month existence. I prayed no one heard me.
22. I was asked her name by another new mom at the hospital the day she was born and I forgot. I had to say "To be honest, I'm totally drawing a blank right now" after I didn't see her name on her bassinet card.
23. Brent is the only guy I've dated whom I swore I would never marry.
24. Actually we were married on an odd day too.
25. I love quarters. Anytime I have change I feel so happy when it's a bunch of quarters.
26. I envy women (well, girls my age, women sounds like a 40 year old)...anyway, I envy women with actual hair styles. I've likened my hair to a rats nest. Curly and frizzy and not stylish.
27. I have short nails. I keep them short because one of my pet peeves is dirt under nails.
28. Gabe's hair repels water. I'm not kidding.
29. I will cut his nails so short just to avoid the above distaste for dirty nails. Sometimes I hold my breath when clipping so I don't make him bleed.
30. I've only ever done that one time, on the day of his 2nd or 3rd birthday.
31. I love pretty handwriting, I have a friend who's a lefty and I've always admired hers as she writes a check at Target. My other friend has yucky handwriting and it's like the only thing that bothers me about her.
32. I love playing Tetris. It's second to Dr. Mario though (which we don't have)
33. Gabe will graduate Pre-K in less than 72 hours and I tear up just imagining it.
34. I love our exercise ball, really love it. I have yet to exercise on it but I like to use it for bouncing the baby and holding G's hands while he jumps on it trampoline style.
35. I'm pretty bad at math. I can't add double digits in my head and when you get change at the drive thru (or is it-through?) and they say "ok, and five and ten makes twenty" I never actually know what they're talking about. I just nod and drive away. I've always done this.
36. Money burns a hole in my pocket. I love to spend it. Even if I'm buying Desitin and fresh fruit, I love it.
37. Ok, admittidly I have another guilty pleasure: returning things. My friend turned me on to the idea in college and I am addicted. It's like you get an ugly gift and instead of having it collect dust and clutter up your basement you can take it back for something you want or need. It's like trading and I feel like I hit the jackpot when the cashier hands me a gift card with x amount of dollars on it.
38. Sick, I think my heart started to beat faster just talking about the high I get from returns.
39. I use the words "sick" "barf" and "ewwwww" a lot.
40. I swear too much. I'm not sure if I'm bothered by this. I only feel bad when people hear me and I'm around my kids. But I usually swear every few minutes ALL DAY LONG.
41. Gabe has said a swear word about 5 times in his life and I secretly think it sounds cute, though he gets in BIG trouble for it.
42. One of my friends does not use the word "butt" with her toddlers. She says "bum bum" which is cute but I inevitably ALWAYS say the word "butt" in front of them and I sort of cower in my seat and hope she didn't notice. I feel like I dropped the F bomb when "butt" escapes my lips. oooops!
43. I can't believe I think I fed Gabe sweet potatoes at 3 months for Thanksgiving! Bad mommy!
44. I hate writing the word potato and tomato because I can never remember if there's an "e" on the end.
45. Come to think of it, WHY would I be writing about the above mentioned foods?
46. Drawing a blank, is a potato a veggie? See? That's why I avoid them! Don't know what they are and don't know how to spell them.
47. Almost halfway done.
48. I played tennis in high school and I miss it dearly. Not the skirts, just the sport.
49. I NEVER wear dresses. NEVER.
50. I wish I was tan.
51. I love red, pink and purple candy. I hate green and yellow. So, when I share with Gabe I only ever give him the yellows and greens.
52. I don't drink enough water. Actually I have joked that I don't remember the last time I had a glass of water and I'm not really joking.
53. As a kid everyone told me I should be a comedian or a judge.
54. I'm very, I mean VERY, territorial. I don't want anyone in my space or using my stuff. EVER!
55. Vacations are foreign to me. How do you plan one? How do you know if you can afford it? When do you go? How do you coordinate the plane/hotel/rental car? That's why we just stay here where it's safe!
56. I looooooooooooooove photography. I could easily have 4,000 pictures on my computer. I take about 5 pictures every day and most days it's about 20.
57. I'll add more later, we're having a tornado...better take cover...

The way it was.....

As it stands right now, it would be....
"The way it is..."

My life that is. I know that someday my present memories, present routines and present stress will be a faded afterthought, one that I will probably not remember correctly, if at all. There's so much that happens on a daily basis here and sometimes I'm so worried about the past, and more so the future that I don't really live in the present. Like, I spent nearly all day preparing for this week since it's my first week back to work full time. I did like 8 loads of laundry (ok, Brent did them, but he NEVER folds anything, just leaves it in the basket where I have to wonder what's clean and what's dirty)...k, so laundry, then had to gather Gabe's nap stuff, Kennedy's bottles (which by the way took me ALL weekend to pump enough for ONE DAY!! BAH!!!), Kennedy's extra baby wipes (how can she be out already after only going to school for 5 days?), My pump, my lunch, my water bottle, and like 50 million other things just to get ready for the week ahead. I know myself and once tomorrow hits I won't have time to do anything else since my WHOLE night consists of eating dinner and then putting Kenna to bed. Thankfully Brent has taken over the task of putting Gabe to bed, yeah, we barely see each other anymore.

Today is Brent's birthday. He's 27 today, almost exactly a year younger than I. We didn't do much, we have a newborn baby and a 4 1/2 year old who keep us busy but desperation found us buckled into the front seats of our minivan (yes, minivan, first time I've admitted that on a blog, DAMMIT, I miss my old Grand Am, piece of shit that it was), ok, so we're buckled in and we (are so lame) actually just started driving and went to lunch and the mall *(impromptu). Wow, exciting huh? Then I went to the store with G and K and Kenna starts (predictably) screaming in the store. Of course this happens just as I am putting a cold six pack of bottled beer in the cart to take home to the birthday boy. So, there we are, wheeling around the store with beer and a crying baby in the cart (whom I refuse to unbuckle from her infant seat, seeing as how it was a quick trip and I am too lazy to "rebuckle" her in 5 minutes). So, got some stares, but whatever. And Gabe, so cute, picks up some Big League Chew for Brent (Original Flavor), wow, I bet that was the best present daddy ever received!

I guess I'm having trouble writing because I don't really know who this is aimed at. I think I'm gonna go and just keep up with my random thoughts, I think I may have developed adult onset ADD, if there is such a thing. I used to love writing, now I have thoughts that dart back and forth so fast that it doesn't flow and it bothers me. In my old writing I would have an opening paragraph, bunch a shit in the middle and then tie it all together nicely at the end, leaving the reader feeling satisfied, similar to how you feel after a big meal. Presently my writing is choppy, all over the place and mostly uninteresting, much like you feel after raiding your cupboards, eating like 5 different things and STILL not feeling satisfied. Yeah, that's me now....